I would get so frustrated with him because I really was not asking for much, just a phone call to check on your girlfriend surely is not asking for much. Also be prepared to lose him. I just dont know what to do. If youre not happy then leave him, its that simple. He is a mental health counselor and I am a registered nurse. When I got back from fall breakEverything changed../me him and his sister made a plan for when i graduated, i was gonna move in with him and his sister and go to college around there but that changed to him getting an apartment and a moped and me moving in with him and going to college. And thats is the absolute best you can do. I think I should do alot of listening when we get back to talk again. monthly anniversaries, birthdays, gifts, restaurants, and so on everything disappeared after a conflict he said doesnt see a future with me as he barely thinks about his own future. We dont laugh as much as we used too. And thats what messes with me a lotwhy doesnt he want to do the same for me. He does not take me out for surprise outings or does not plan anything for us to do as a couple, but still i do not complain much about that. In regards to the relationship, when you get more rest and relaxation and go back to your favorite hobby, find ways to invite the guy. Thats Progress! There is a possibility we wont be together if he gets accepted into grad school because its in another state. surprisely right after I unblocked him he sent me a message saying hi and hows life? He also always texts me daily, and he is generally the one to text first, and always responds to my texts immediately. In fact, because you are so young, they will most likely find you when you least expect it. ? Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. When ALL grocery stores near us are closed saying I dont feel like cooking tonight, we dont have all the ingredients so I say ok why is it that you didnt notice this when you got home from work when stores were open? We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. I know it hurts so bad but you need to be strong and move forward, with or without him. Thats the way to get a I dont care, because Im awesome kind of attitude. I trusted his words for way too long. One would think he would have learned his lesson and did something special this year. Which was Im looking so bad I dont want neighbours to see me like this. Its just hard because he watches my son while Im at work and my sons dad is working out of town for a month on and a week off. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and will be 4 years this August. Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. I realized that despite all Ive shared with him about how his lack of effort makes me feel, he wasnt really listening or caring about it. He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. He just doesnt understand why. he only paid for me once and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts. hes always busy at work. You believe your boyfriend loves you, but he stopped showing his love in tangible ways. 7 Signs You Can Trust Your Boyfriend After He Cheated, 7 Ways to Convince Your Ex to Give You a Second Chance, When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else, When Your Ex Starts a New Relationship: 3 Ways Through the Pain, 7 Signs You Arent Ready for a Relationship, Emotionally Detaching From Someone You Love. From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. He has recently been stressed about getting into grad school and got denied for his first two school. from there we started to be friend. Not only that sexual favors have been one sided for a long time now. My fiance and I have been together for a year.. when we first got together he was so happy and kind to me.. but then there was all this stuff from his job getting him stressed out ..and bills, and family, and Im not sure what else..his last job he had a manager that spoke so poorly towards him and the other employees plus the customers. But do you guys think its worth it? This guy never learned to be a good partner, and it sounds like he doesnt know how to try now, either. HE ALWAYS FORGETS. im going through the same thing my boyfriend will not text me nor will he call me when i text him again he reply and said his mother getting on his nerve he goes to her house to take care of her he said he been going through alot with his mom very upset but my thing is what about me where do i fit into your life i dont even know if were still in a relationship my daughter say dont text or call him we been together over a year hes 52 im 55 what should i do im lost, Ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. He compromised but I guess his old self is back .Ive not heard from him today as well.I would understand if he was unwell,Id appreciate it if he could atleast send me even a short message so I wouldnt get so worried. He has way more money than me and said he didnt do anything because he was angry at me. We were really happy and things happended so good. Hi, Your post really reflects on me. If youre reading this article and the comments, Im sorry youre here. I cannot communicate with him. Im 53, he is 51. Its been hard but there are better things to come. I have told him that I will be losing a lot when I move career wise. I did not even have to think about going this is what people do for each other. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. He asked if I wanted help learning and I said a big yes. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now and I feel like lately he doesnt make any effort to spend time with me. Idk what to do I dont want to lose him but i cant tell if he loves me or not he says he rlly does but doesnt act like it. I thought after he quit his job he would have no excuse, but now he just puts even more time into video games. Maybe if you dont hear from him send him a positive text that you are thinking of him but let him come to you. Like, if they arent happy anymore, why not tell us so we can move on? and he even told me that her wife cheated on him. After that he chatted me that hes sorry he didnt give the money and I said im not accepting money for sex. He can say he loves me and misses me million times a day but then he doesnt make an effort for us to be together when we could because hes just very comfortable. Why doesnt he show his love? WORKS BUT DOES NOTHING ELSE. I dont know what to do. Is he older? I cant tell you what to do, I can tell you what it feels like to stay and feel the harshness of hurtful words for years at a time. However, just before christmas time, the same things started to happen again, effort drops off. We did this at least once a week. Its hard to let go of someone you love, and its not that easy for me. Ill call him daily or send him texts but he only leaves me on seen and doesnt reply. He was all amazing.. first few months showered me with flowers and gifts then slowly I started to see his true colours. I said it would really mean the world to me if he would send me a good morning text like he used to. It made me sad, I didnt even hear from him all weekend and then he tells me he misses me. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. However, how do we Know that the ll will Change? You will end up hating yourself. Hot and cold. So, literally, he gives me a quick peck before he goes to work and at least TELLS me he loves me. Hes going to party for his birthday but couldnt do anything special for me today, especially after everything I do for him. On the other hand, maybe your boyfriends lack of effort means that he only calls you once a month or texts you once every two months. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? My bday in Jan and our 5 year anniversary/V-tines Day was a sh*t show. So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. Should I just never expect to be treated the way he used to treat me? he would nvr go out of his way to do anything for me now and it makes me wonder why because what am i lacking? However, I started to notice some changes in him, subtle ones. Letting Go of Someone You Loveis filled with comforting, practical ways to heal your heart. But I just feel unwanted and that all I do for him is in vain. Maybe hes just tired from working too much? It takes a lot of patience and time. He pays alawys though i offer to pay but he refuses. Its really hurtful to live with, and it really makes me feel unappreciated and un loved. Everything is done ON PURPOSE to stick a fork in his eye like youre not that important, sorry. (Probably why she fell in love with another man) now its like he is determined for me to not become selfish. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. He says I cant accept him for who he is because he had been this way all his life, but I tried to explain that its taking a toll on me. Do not sound attacking or desperate. Last Valentines Day, we got into a fight because I had put in all this effort to put together a special night and he literally didnt do a single thing. I am the first gf my bf ever had and theres only so much I can pin on that reason. But yeah, we talk more and sometimes I struggle to text back too since I work full time now! Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. Then I get a text at 10 pm! He understood, admitted he takes me fore granted and he would try harder. we were back in the honeymoon stage for a few months and then he slowly started resenting me. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Since then hes filed for bankruptcy and the interest he used to take in my poetry appears to have disappeared. But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. Has financial debt, related to college expenses. the hard part is we have a very deep connection, we understand eachother, and have the best friendship any partner could have I have recently told him on a few occasions how unhappy I have become. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. Ive mentioned the kissing thing to him a couple of times and so far, no real change. I have been doing some self-evaluation to determine the role I played in the relationship. I have no friends no interest in men, I cant even stand it when strangers try to talk to me. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. He also gave his daughter my phone number so she could text me as she wasnt feeling well. Rather, letting go is about loosening unhealthy attachments in current and past relationships. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. My boyfriend and I both 21 have been dating for almost 3 years and for almost 2 years he has been serving the military back home with only weekends to spare and while I am in Canada studying for almost a year. So that irritates me as I scramble to get everything I need to get done before he gets there so I can spend time with him instead of homework or dishes or laundry. He used o do his laundry, make his bed, clean the kitchen, cook himself and I dinner when I was at HIS place a lot or even when i moved in with him! So in my situation, I live with my boyfriend for about a year now in which we did move too fast because we moved in together after about 6 months of dating. As his tummy is upset, but theres been more times idk I just think in this lockdown Ill message him say Im not far from where he is and Im like I could drive past wave from my car and hes like no dont do that. I was so upset and sad to know he did that, specially after just having a baby. NEVER REALLY HELPS. He just argues about small and insignificant things such as a goodnight call or text. This may be too shallow for some but I have never receive a single petal from my boyfriend lol. Now, what do I *do*? He sounds willing to work on your relationship, be thankful for that. Its really hard, but Im trying. Im about to turn 20 in a few months and hes 25, Im afraid i might be a little too naive or wayyy too vulnerable for someone like him. Hes him. He would become distant and i would feel left alone and hurt by it. I need suggestions on how to deal with this. Communication is not good. I know thats not what you want to hear. But we got OUR place, he expects me to clean, cook, everything. I would be the one driving to go see him, but I still over looked it and gave him benefit of doubt. My mom knew smthn was up so she said no to taking me. But all I want from him is a simple hug. He tried and invited me to a restaurant 2 times but that has stopped as well now. I know he is under a huge amount of stress because of work issues and family issues We dont spend much time with each other since we are both extremely busy, however; I am always keen to plan my time so we could at least spend half a day with each other weekly or every two weeks. I dont know what to do. Your email address will not be published. Hes really bad at texting and sometimes we dont really talk on the phone cause he said he was tired. Since then my boyfriend has made no effort in our relationship. I too feel like Im not asking too much- but even if Im clear in communicating what I want and need, my boyfriend rarely makes the effort. He always said that its his first relationship and he doesnt know how to behave like a boyfriend. I used to think eventually wed work through the kinks and finally stop arguing. he nvr wants to go out w me, not even to dinner. That same night, we agreed to date. I want to give myself time to breath but when I do, again I feel lazy and like Im doing nothing with my life. He wont text me all day till I text him. That gives a clear instruction on how they can help meet your needs. I am feeling, like my expectations may be too high. Should I quit or continue with the relationship? If your self-image is shattered because your boyfriend stopped making an effort, then youre expecting too much from him. Maybe what they need to here is (as an example)- Im not feeling like a priority to you, and therefore what I need is for you to make dinner with me one night this week so we can reconnect.. But he says that I am the person he wants to build a family with and take care of our children someday. thats about it. he is a loyal person i know that but hes too self centered and he makes me feel like im not important. I bought him a journal for prompting thoughts of positivity and gratitude, He acted appreciative and was OK to do the morning and evening prompts. ?pretty much hurts and also my first. I tried discussing that with him, he told me if he was to mess up he would want someone to correct him. Especially for someone like me who is lonely all the time. He asked me to come to his section I said no Ill stay w my friends. we are a college couple of 2.5 years now. We have had sex, one time. No present. 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